Saturday, October 14, 2006

Where's Oswaldo?

Oswaldo Chambers strikes again. (And no, no matter how hard I try, I can't find his bespectacled self and his red-striped shirt in ANY of his books! WHERE'S OSWALDO??? He sure writes some good stuff, though).
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"Give Me to drink." How many of us are set upon Jesus Christ slaking our thirst when we ought to be satisfying Him? We should be pouring out now, spending to the last limit, not drawing on Him to satisfy us. "Ye shall be witnesses unto Me" -- that means a life of unsullied, uncompromising and unbridled devotion to the Lord Jesus, a satisfaction to Him wherever He places us.

Beware of anything that competes with loyalty to Jesus Christ. The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him. It is easier to serve than to be drunk to the dregs. The one aim of the call of God is the satisfaction of God, not a call to do something for Him. We are not sent to battle for God, but to be used by God in His battlings. Are we being more devoted to service than to Jesus Christ?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Toasting Marshmallows

You may have noticed a distinct difference between my blog posts of last week and those from this week. "From the sublime to the ridiculous," you may be thinking. "What happened?" The answer is nothing. I'm still on the same path I was then. The work of the Holy Spirit is going on this week just as it did last week; it's just a little quieter...not as easy to put a finger on...not quite as mountaintop...less bubbles frothing to the surface...but still deep and good. I believe it and know it's true. I'm trusting God, learning to be stayed upon Him, peaceful, content to keep plugging at whatever unfulfilling tasks I'm doing as He teaches me that He is my All. It's settling in even as the frenzy fades. I still want more and more of Jesus, and He knows that because I keep telling Him.

I was thinking today about how DJ prayed during our meeting that God would light us on fire. I believe He did. Last week the flames were high, leaping and dancing and licking in a dazzling array. But what happens when the flames die down? What does it mean when they cease to reach as far, or flicker as brightly? What then? Are we cooling off, loosing the spark of the Spirit?

No, friends, I think not. It is then, when the spontaneity subsides, that the heart of the fire becomes embedded in the coals. Here, in the coals, is where the true heat lies. The flames are the outward display, but they are not the true source of the fire's life. They spring, instead, from the coals...red hot, quiet, unmoving...where the fire continues to burn its hottest long after the impressive pirouettes of gold and blue have vanished. The lack of flames, therefore, does not constitute a lack of fire. The heat may be as searing as ever; it is only contained for a while.

Furthermore, a bed of coals can leap into flame again in an instant with just a simple stirring or the introduction of appropriate fuel. To try to keep the blaze roaring at all times may result in an expense of energy that leaves you exhausted, or, pardon the pun, "burnt out." Much as we desire the flames to be high at all times, it is perhaps more important to welcome those times when we deepen the red glow at our core, realizing that as we are faithful to tend the coals in our soul, we will be ready for the time when the Holy Spirit will draw forth flames.

Every good toaster of marshmallows knows the ideal conditions for producing the perfect marshmallow. Would those be billowing flames? I think not! What good are flames when toasting a marshmallow? Flames are entirely unpredictable, and might reach out and ignite your precious charge without an instant of warning. Suddenly you find yourself waving your stick desperately in the air, blowing and spitting and sputtering to douse your snack-turned-torch. If you're lucky, you're camping with someone who "likes" the charred version. If you're not, you drop it into the fire and try again.

But when you want that perfect golden brown which sheaths melting goo, you wait for the flames to die down, and seek out a corner where the contained heat of the coals burns hottest. Here, with patience and diligence, the fire becomes useful to you, and you are able to channel its power in the creation of something good. The process is slower this way. The marshmallow doesn't get done as quickly as the one cooked in flames, but the result in this scenario is perfection. It gets toasted, not burned.

So, friends, where ever you might be right now, don't let the fire go out. But remember that flames don't define a fire. You can still burn hotly even if you feel like nothing more than a single coal. Don't be disappointed by the coals when you'd rather have flames. They don't mean you're any less on fire for God. Tend them and stoke them in preparation for a day when the HS calls them to life, but never fear you're not bright enough in the meantime. Heat in a fire is more important that its brilliance. In these times of "coalness," it may be that God is using you to toast some marshmallow to a perfection that glorifies Him.

"Never pump up joy and confidence, but stay upon God." -Oswald Chambers

Giving lip

Most of the summer, I kept to myself in my cubicle, listening to Rush or whatever else. But I've been settling in more the last few weeks, so I've been interacting more and more with my coworkers, loosening up and giving them lip. It's been wicked fun and made working at the bank much better. The true Craig springs forth, and so far they seem to like it. Except for Kelly.

I have an ongoing thing with Kelly, the girl who told me I should be moving out on my own, whereby I make fun of her dogs. Every chance I get. She has a pitbull and a bulldog. Now, my thinking is, if you're going to keep an animal in your house, why would you choose one that's ugly and mean? Even more pressing is this question: if you're going to keep an animal in your house, why would you choose TWO that are ugly and mean?

It all started when I heard Kelly telling Martha, across from me, about her dogs, and insisting that it's a stereotype that they're the meanest kinds of dogs. So I asked her what kind of dogs she had, she told me, and I promptly replied that I hate pitbulls and bulldogs. I don't really (shhh, not a word), but at the moment it was the best way to get a rise. She responded with a tirade about her dislike for composers. Ha, ha. I really get her angry and she just makes me laugh.

A couple of days later, I told her I had thought of something POSITIVE to say about her dogs: "They probably taste good!"

Funny thing, she didn't really see the "positive" side to that. (I was trying really hard, too!)

Her boyfriend brought her dogs to work some time after that and Martha met them, so afterwards I asked Martha if they looked tasty. She says yes. HA! I was right! Why can't Kelly think of it as a compliment?

This morning, Pennie came to work with a muffin purchased from a nearby coffee house. Pennie is a remarkably funny woman to whom all sorts of things always happen. In the summer, she was making regular phone calls to bank branches to have them fax forms to her, when she received a phone call from her husband who was working at home. He wanted to know why he kept answering his phone to find fax machines squealing on the other end. With the light of dawning horror, Pennie realized she had been giving the branches her home phone number to fax the forms to. Completely absentmindedly...even though she makes these calls and gives out the bank fax number probably every single day. Pennie used to share her cubicle with Nate H. when he worked there, and she told me how one day during stretches, Nate lost his balance doing a quad stretch and landed on top of her as she sat obliviously at her desk. I laughed and laughed...Pennie is a very funny woman and sure knows how to tell a story!

She's also lucky. Within the last week or so, she's bought three winning scratch tickets. Two of them were for $100, and one for $50. Unbelievable. I offered her $10 for one of them, figuring since she only paid $5 she'd still be making a profit. She didn't go for it. Weird.

That was merely a rabbit trail. As I was saying, Pennie came to working this morning with a muffin she purchased from a coffee house. When she went to put it in the microwave, what should she spy, baked right into the edge of her muffin but a SPIDER!!! Legs splayed, in fact very well preserved, but a true, blue spider baked in her muffin. (It wasn't really blue--that's an expression, "for those of you in Rio Linde.") I saw it with my own two eyes and it was absolutely disgusting. Imagine if she hadn't see it until in the midst of eating it. That would have been difficult, though, given the size and prominence of this creature. I told her maybe she had ordered their special Halloween muffin and the spider was made of sugar. If only it were so. This muffin came from Dunkin Donuts, by the way...the one next to Walmart in Keene. Feel good about eating there? She called and they sent someone over to verify the error and give her a $10 gift certificate. 10$??? We'll see if that's the end of it. Maybe she'll be one of those famous people in the newspaper who get lots of money from a lawsuit. Maybe I'll get famous on her coat-tails as a firsthand witness of the spider-muffin.

This was all leading up to a continuation of my earlier story.

Later in the day, after this huge uproar, I asked Kelly a very pointed and sincere question. I asked her if she thought Dunkin Donuts made muffins with pitbulls baked into them...

...because, if they did, I would buy one.

All I got was a cold, "Shut up!" She then turned to order her lunch with Martha and Ryan.

So I asked if they were ordering hot dogs.

Score lots and lots of points for me. I am definitely winning the lip competition...that is, if there even is a lip competition.

(I hope so!)

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Olive Juice?

Today Memory Lane carried me back to the juvenile joys of junior high. Thank the Lord I have left them far behind! At least, I think I have. I certainly hope I did this in junior high and not in high school, though I really wonder.

I learned this vice from Elspeth, I think, oh corrupting Canadian that she was!

Okay, so to do this trick, you look at someone at some distance away, across a crowded room, for instance, and catch their eye. Then you deliver a sufficiently alluring smirk and mouth the words, "Olive juice!" Try it. Or just do it to yourself in the mirror. The point is that it appears as if you are mouthing the words, "I love you," but of course, you aren't. The ideal victim would be someone to whom such an admission would be entirely inappropriate, and who would register proper indignation. Then, in the midst of their shock and reprimands, or maybe just raised eyebrows, you can smugly declare, "All I said was 'olive juice.' What's wrong with that?"

Why, oh WHY was that so funny? It was even hilarious today as I remembered it, though it's hard to say if I was amused by the immaturity or by the humor of it. But it made me smile even as I scorned how juvenile I was. It still cracks me up!

It was pretty much the best trick ever in eighth grade.

Infiltrated?

At work today, Aunt Sponge waddled down my row and gave everyone a caramel-filled chocolate. Everyone, that is, EXCEPT FOR ME!!! It was the most inexplicably rude thing ever. People on both sides of me got chocolate...the girl across from me got chocolate...but it was as if I didn't even exist. All the time I spent formulating my polite, "No thanks!" was wasted. (It wasn't about the chocolate--it was about being offered the chocolate.)

Which makes me wonder...

Do you suppose she reads my blog and resents being called Aunt Sponge? I don't know why she would. Sponge is only disgustingly fat and stupid, not evil and sinister like Spike. Hey, it's practically a term of endearment!

Except for when she is rude to me, and then it gets imbued with every ounce of vitriol I can produce: "Sponge! Sponge! SPONGE!!!"

[Disclaimer: She doesn't either waddle. She walks like a normal person. It just sounds more dramatic.]

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Amazing

I'm sorry I keep stealing words from other people to post on my blog, but sometimes that's the best way. This morning I read a bit in My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, and one of the entries was just perfect for me. It was all wonderful and edifying with excellent quotes and challenges sown throughout (go discover some for yourself!), but the following spoke with particular emphasis.
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Will You Go Out without Knowing?

"He went out, not knowing whither he went." -Hebrew 11:8

Have you been "out" in this way? If so, there is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question--"What do you expect to do?" You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder--you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a "going out," building in confidence on God. "Take no thought for your life, . . . nor yet for your body"--take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you "went out."

Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in surrender to Him until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does?

Suppose God is the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him--what an impertinence worry is! Let the attitude of the life be a continual "going out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have an ineffable charm about it which is a satisfaction to Jesus. You have to learn to go out of convictions, out of creeds, out of experiences, until so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God.
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And so there, that question I hate SO MUCH, "What are you doing?" or "What do you expect to do with your music degree?" does not loom so big or bother me as much. The whole being a Christian artist thing is part of what makes the waiting and the wondering extra challenging. People have asked me what kind of job I'm going to get as a musician and the answer is always, "I DON'T KNOW!" I squirm when good, Christian people ask me with a tone of skepticism what kind of job I can get with a music composition degree. I'm not in music because it's going to support me the rest of my life!!! I went to music school to equip me for ministry, but that doesn't automatically set me up for a JOB, a business, a lucrative marketable skill. That was not the point! But everyone else in the world goes to college to prepare for a career, so they can't really understand why someone would go to expand their ministry then graduate without a clue as to what they're supposed to be doing every day. It's a weird situation. I hope that somehow the ministry and the career may merge and turn out to be one and the same. But I don't know that yet.

What I do know is that I am completely rambling. I was only going to post that entry from Oswald Chambers! The point is, with all my questions about how it's all going to work out in the future...well, go back and read that gem again and you'll find all the questions answers. The nay-saying silenced. The trust deepened...

"You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing."

Ahmen.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Sabbath goodness

This week has continued in much the same vein as the weekend which began it. I have been filled with desire for more and more of Jesus instead of looking furtively around at where I am right now and what I'm doing (or rather, not doing). Of course, I've been working long hours at the bank every day, not fasting and meditating on my knees in a monastery somewhere, but God can deepen my relationship with Him wherever I am, even when I'm not reading the Bible or praying. He can even draw us closer when we're typing mindlessly at a computer. ("Oprah calls it 'multi-tasking...'" to throw in a Sweet Home Alabama quote.) Anyway, the result is peace and a melting away of that which doesn't matter so that only Christ remains. The Holy Spirit has been faithful to work on me this week, giving me insights into the depth of God's love for me. Isn't it wonderful when you can see the work going on? 99% of the time it's silent and invisible, but those times when it springs forth...mmm, hmmm. That's what I'm talkin' about!

My spirit has come back several times to an all-absorbing purpose summed up in a pithy phrase--nope, not "this world for Christ in my lifetime." Sorry to shock you...that's a great one, too. However, I favor something I remember first hearing from my sister Kendra: "To know Christ, and make Him known." I love that because, unlike the other one, it starts with the most important, deepest part--knowing Jesus myself. Then, from that, erupts the desire to make Him known. I like how it starts with the BE, the innermost communion and intimate relationship with the Savior which is what I really need right now, then moves on to the DO by bringing the knowledge we have to others. So, yeah...to know Christ and make Him known. I'm excited about that.

Along with becoming a truster, prayer warrior, follower and all that stuff this week, I also became a big spender. :-) I spent a lot of money this week; computer parts, film developing, car inspection, even some new clothes all called on the old pocketbook. But it was GOOD because it was almost a direct response to being able to trust God. For the last few weeks I've been pinching the purse strings hard, working tons of overtime, trying to get as much money in my bank account as possible before going off and doing whatever. There was quite a bit of worry and fear motivating that desire to save, and also a lot of clinging to things I want to do with that money. Not much trust to be found anywhere. For example, I've been almost fanatically dreaming a trip to Greece for a while now. Suddenly, I felt like maybe if I worked hard enough, I might be able to pull it off next year. I wanted it so badly! But I also am pretty sure God wants me in Israel for a while this year which is an expensive proposition, so I was a bit panicked trying to make sure I could make them both happen. I was rather like the boy with his fist stuck in the cookie jar who can't get it out without letting go of the cookie he's snagging. Lots of tension and stress were at work in me.

But this week, with all that happened last weekend, suddenly I felt freedom from pressure in finances because GOD IS TRUSTWORTHY. What a basic lesson! I thought I'd learned that one already... (I'm such a backslider!) But the past few days I stopped stubbornly holding on to all those other things because they are the chaff and Jesus is the wheat. Lots of chaff blew away this week. It wasn't even a difficult fiery furnace or anything! More like, "Poof!" The funny part is it ended up making me feel like I could spend money, so I did. Did God mean He'd provide for us even when we're extravagant? Hmm. Get back to me on that one.

The thing is, I found it hard to believe God would provide for something as frivolous as a trip to Greece. I could easily believe that He would provide to go to Israel because that's SPIRITUAL, but it seemed like if I wanted Greece, that trip would be up to me to finance, so that's what I was planning on doing. But I know He wants me to put Him first and stop hanging on to what I think will make me happy. There was much release in my spirit this week as I sought to refocus on the One Needful Thing instead of all the other desires that were cluttering up my life.

As you can see, there've been lots of heavy spiritual lessons this week! Definitely not your typical newsy amusing post.

(Deal with it.)

Furthermore, God used the strength of my desires (to travel, for instance) to make me wonder what it would be like if I longed for the things God longs for with the same intensity. I've been praying that God would make me desire what He wants as badly as I do the things I want.

Today I was reminded of a section in The Silver Chair that is apropos in the extreme to what we've been going through recently, or at least what I've been going through. Remember that scene where the witch of the underworld fills them all with a sickly sweet smell and convinces them that the true world and Aslan are all their imagination? But then, one person, Puddleglum, holds forth and dispels every lie with his faith and declaration of the truth. That's all it took to break the haze. I feel like I had been subjected to a bit of the obscurity myself, but that the Holy Spirit came along and filled my heart with Truth so the web of deception and humanism was destroyed and NOW! I can see clearly the world above with the sun and grass and ASLAN! I grabbed the book tonight and the whole section is just so refreshing. I could tell you all to go read it yourself, BUT I have no assurance that you'll do so. Maybe you don't have the book readily available. Maybe getting it off the shelf is too unSabbatic.

So, yes, I'm going to type out the relevant portion in a wicked long post which you can read below. I hope you're edified by the allegory. There are so many significant insights to draw forth from it--a full sermon, in fact! But I'll leave that to you instead of going on ad nauseam myself. Really think about it, though, and consider the symbolism...you might even get as much out of it as your Bible reading today! I will say one thing...it was pain that cleared Puddleglum's mind and allowed him to clearly see the truth. I'm not sure I noticed that before.

Excerpt from The Silver Chair

Now the Witch said nothing at all, but moved gently across the room, always keeping her face and eyes very steadily towards the Prince. When she had come to a little ark set in the wall not far from the fireplace, she opened it, and took out first a handful of a green powder. This she threw on the fire. It did not glaze much, but a very sweet and drowsy smell came from it. And all through the conversation which followed, that smell grew stronger, and filled the room, and made it harder to think. Secondly, she took out a musical instrument rather like a mandolin. She began to play it with her fingers--a steady, monotonous thrumming that you didn't notice after a few minutes. But the less you noticed it, the more it got into your brain and your blood. This also made it hard to think. After she had thrummed for a time (and the sweet smell was now strong) she began speaking in a sweet, quiet voice.

"Narnia?" she said. "Narnia? I have often heard your Lordship utter that name in your ravings. Dear Prince, you are very sick. There is no land called Narnia."

"Yes, there is, though, Ma'am," said Puddleglum. "You see, I happen to have lived there all my life."

"Indeed," said the Witch. "Tell me, I pray you, where that country is?"

"Up there," said Puddleglum, stoutly, pointing overhead. "I--I don't know exactly where."

"How?" said the Queen, with a kind, soft, musical laugh. "Is there a country up among the stones and mortar of the roof?"

"No," said Puddleglum, struggling a little to get his breath. "It's in the Overworld."

"And what, or where, pray is this...how do you call it...Overworld?"

"Oh, don't be so silly," said Scrubb, who was fighting hard against the enchantment of the sweet smell and the thrumming. "As if you didn't know! It's up above, up where you can see the sky and the sun and the stars. Why, you've been there yourself. We met you there."

"I cry mercy, little brother," laughed the Witch (you couldn't have heard a lovelier laugh). "I have no memory of that meeting. But we often meet our friends in strange places when we dream. And unless all dreamed alike, you must not ask them to remember it."

"Madam," said the Prince sternly, "I have already told your Grace that I am the King's son in Narnia."

"And shalt be, dear friend," said the Witch in a soothing voice, as if she were humouring a child, "shalt be king of many imagined lands in thy fancies."

"We've been there, too," snapped Jill. She was very angry because she could feel enchantment getting hold of her every moment. But of course the very fact that she could still feel it, showed that it had not yet fully worked.

"And thou art Queen of Narnia too, I doubt not, pretty one," said the Witch in the same coaxing, half-mocking tone.

"I'm nothing of the sort," said Jill, stamping her foot. "We come from another world."

"Why, this is a prettier game than the other," said the Witch. "Tell us, little maid, where is this other world? What ships and chariots go between it and ours?"

Of course a lot of things darted into Jill's head at once: Experiment House, Adela Pennyfather, her own home, radio-sets, cinemas, cars, aeroplanes, ration-books, queues. But they seemed dim and far away. (Thrum -- thrum -- thrum -- went the strings of the Witch's instrument.) Jill couldn't remember the names of the things in our world. And this time it didn't come into her head that she was being enchanted, for now the magic was in its full strength; and of course, the more enchanted you get, the more certain you feel that you are not enchanted at all.

She found herself saying (and at the moment it was a relief to say): "No, I suppose that other world must be all a dream."

"Yes. It is all a dream," said the Witch, always thrumming.

"Yes, all a dream," said Jill.

"There never was such a world," said the Witch.

"No," said Jill and Scrubb, "never was such a world."

"There never was any world but mine," said the Witch.

"There never was any world but yours," said they.

Puddleglum was still fighting hard. "I don't know rightly what you all mean by a world," he said, talking like a man who hasn't enough air. "But you can play that fiddle till your fingers drop off, and still you won't make me forget Narnia; and the whole Overworld too. We'll never see it again, I shouldn't wonder. You may have blotted it out and turned it dark like this, for all I know. Nothing more likely. But I know I was there once. I've seen the sky full of stars. I've seen the sun coming up out of the sea of a morning and sinking behind the mountains at night. And I've seen him up in the midday sky when I couldn't look at him for brightness."

Puddleglum's words had a very rousing effect. The other three all breathed again and looked at one another like people newly awaked.

"Why there it is!" cried the Prince. "Of course! The blessing of Aslan upon this honest Marsh-wiggle. We have all been dreaming, these last few minutes. How could we have forgotten it? Of course we've all seen the sun."

"By Jove, so we have!" said Scrubb. "Good for you, Puddleglum! You're the only one of us with any sense, I do believe."

Then came the Witch's voice, cooing softly like the voice of a wood-pigeon from the high elms in an old garden at three o'clock in the middle of a sleepy, summer afternoon; and it said:

"What is this sun that you all speak of? Do you mean anything by the word?"

"Yes, we jolly well do," said Scrubb.

"Can you tell me what it's like?" asked the Witch (thrum, thrum, thrum, went the strings).

"Please it your Grace," said the Prince, very coldly and politely. "You see that lamp. It is round and yellow and gives light to the whole room, and hangeth moreover from the roof. Now that thing which we call the sun is like the lamp, only far greater and brighter. It giveth light to the whole Overworld and hangeth in the sky."

"Hangeth from what, my lord?" asked the Witch; and then, while they were all still thinking how to answer her, she added, with another of her soft, silver laughs: "You see? When you try to think out clearly what this sun must be, you cannot tell me. You can only tell me it is like the lamp. Your sun is a dream; and there is nothing in that dream that was not copied from the lamp. The lamp is the real thing; the sun is but a tale, a children's story."

"Yes, I see now," said Jill in a heavy, hopeless tone. "It must be so." And while she said this, it seemed to her to be very good sense.

Slowly and gravely the Witch repeated, "There is no sun." And they all said nothing. She repeated, in a softer and deeper voice. "There is no sun." After a pause, and after a struggle in their minds, all four of them said together, "You are right. There is no sun." It was such a relief to give in and say it.

"There never was a sun," said the Witch.

"No. There never was a sun," said the Prince, and the Marsh-wiggle, and the children.

For the last few minutes Jill had been feeling that there was something she must remember at all costs. And now she did. But it was dreadfully hard to say it. She felt as if huge weights were laid on her lips. At last, with an effort that seemed to take all the good out of her, she said:

"There's Aslan."

"Aslan?" said the Witch, quickening ever so slightly the pace of her thrumming. "What a pretty name! What does it mean?"

"He is the great Lion who called us out of our own world," said Scrubb, "and sent us into this to find Prince Rilian."

"What is a lion?" asked the Witch.

"Oh, hang it all!" said Scrubb. "Don't you know? How can we describe it to her? Have you ever seen a cat?"

"Surely," said the Queen. "I love cats."

"Well, a lion is a little bit--only a little bit, mind you--like a huge cat--with a mane. At least, it's not like a horse's mane, you know, it's more like a judge's wig. And it's yellow. And terrifically strong."

The Witch shook her head. "I see," she said, "that we should do no better with your lion, as you call it, than we did with your sun. You have seen lamps, and so you imagined a bigger and better lamp and called it the sun. You've seen cats, and now you want a bigger and better cat, and it's to be called a lion. Well, 'tis a pretty make--believe, though, to say truth, it would suit you all better if you were younger. And look how you can put nothing into your make-believe without coyping it from the real world of mine, which is the only world. But even you children are too old for such play. As for you, my lord Prince, that art a man full grown, fie upon you! Are you not ashamed of such toys? Come, all of you. Put away these childish tricks. I have work for you all in the real world. There is no Narnia, no Overworld, no sky, no sun, no Aslan. And now, to bed all. And let us begin a wiser life tomorrow. But, first, to bed; to sleep; deep sleep, soft pillows, sleep without foolish dreams."

The Prince and the two children were standing with their heads hung down, their cheeks flushed, their eyes half closed; the strength all gone from them; the enchantment almost complete. But Puddleglum, desperately gathering all his strength, walked over to the fire. Then he did a very brave thing. He knew it wouldn't hurt him quite as much as it would hurt a human; for his feet (which were bare) were webbed and hard and cold-blooded like a duck's. But he knew it would hurt him badly enough; and so it did. With his bare foot he stamped on the fire, grinding a large part of it into ashes on the flat hearth. And three things happened at once.

First, the sweet heavy smell grew very much less. For though the whole fire had not been put out, a good bit of it had, and what remained smelled very largely of burnt Marsh-wiggle, which is not at all an enchanting smell. This instantly made everyone's brain far clearer. The Prince and the children held up their heads again and opened their eyes.

Secondly, the Witch, in a loud, terrible voice, utterly different from all the sweet tones she had been using up till now, called out, "What are you doing? Dare to touch my fire again, mud-filth, and I'll turn the blood to fire inside your veins."

Thirdly, the pain itself made Puddleglum's head for a moment perfectly clear and he knew exactly what he really thought. There is nothing like a good shock of pain for dissolving certain kinds of magic. [I find this quote particularly astounding!]

"One word, Ma'am," he said, coming back from the fire; limping because of the pain. "One word. All you've been saying is quite right, I shouldn't wonder. I'm a chap who always liked to know the worst and then put the best face I can on it. So I won't deny any of what you said. But there's one thing more to be said, even so. Suppose we have only dreamed, or made up, all those things--trees and grass and sun and moon and stars and Aslan himself. Suppose we have. Then all I can say is that, in that case, the made-up things seem a good deal more important than the real ones. Suppose this black pit of a kingdom of yours is the only world. Well, it strikes me as a pretty poor one. And that's a funny thing, when you come to think of it. We're just babies making up a game, if you're right. But four babies playing a game can make a play-world which licks your real world hollow. That's why I'm going to stand by the play-world. I'm on Aslan's side even if there isn't any Aslan to lead it. I'm going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn't any Narnia. So, thanking you kindly for our supper, if these two gentlemen and the young lady are ready, we're leaving your court at once and setting out in the dark to spend our lives looking for the Overland. Not that our lives will be very long, I should think; but that's a small loss if the world's as dull a place as you say."

"Oh, hurray! Good old Puddleglum!" cried Scrubb and Jill.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Bank-a-licious!

There are two girls who work at the bank who almost always walk together on their break, and they remind me of the Aunts Spike and Sponge from James and the Giant Peach. One tall, gaunt, and sallow-cheeked with thin, blond hair...the other short and round and, well, spongy. Okay, I'm using a LOT of imagination to come up with these descriptions, but I am amused to see them walking together because there is such contrast. In truth, the only reason I came up with this comparison is because Aunt Sponge once referred to me and my walking partner as "Bonnie and Clyde" when they passed us this summer. My penchant for quick retorts wanted to pounce, but nothing came, so I set my mind to discovering a truly inflammatory something to call them. And "Spike and Sponge" is just so perfect. Of course, I have NEVER said it...out loud. But now that it has been invented, it comes to mind almost whenever I see them together. Shame on me!

If you've been keeping track, you'll notice quite a collection of characters at my workplace. Eesma, Gollum, now Spike and Sponge, and oh yes, that woman who is so insipidly grinny I can't help but wonder if something is missing upstairs. As Christians, of course smiling and cheerfulness are part of the package deal and shouldn't surprise us, but even so, I think this woman is a little bit loopey. I love it, though, because it totally cracks me up. During walk breaks, I'll pass her going the opposite direction, and she makes eye contact from miles away and just grins like a schoolgirl until she gets close enough to say, "Good morning!" How funny she is.

Today at work I learned the woman who works across from me is only four years older than I am when, (shhhh! don't tell!) I thought she was a good solid ten years ahead. I thought she was mid-30s. She has even reached 30 yet. Um, I'm not exactly sure, but I don't think women in that stage of life generally approve of such over-guessing. Glad I never opened my mouth!

I heard another woman near me telling someone today that she has a nephew or some small boy in her life that they call Buddha because he has a huge, round belly. Oh, my, I think that is unbelievably funny and I conveyed my approval! Calling a toddler (or so I surmise he is) Buddha is just side-splitting. Now I wish I knew a fat, round-bellied little kid so I could call him that.

The project I've been working on at the bank involves signature cards for Canadian customers who are having certain accounts transferred to one of our American banks (we were bought by a Canadian company, which is why this transition makes sense). Anyway, amidst these hundreds of sig cards, I come across letters that people sent in with their cards however many years ago. Most of them just say things like, "Please find enclosed my opening deposit..." or "Please change my account to joint and add my wife," or "Please send my ATM card to my US address ASAP." Occasionally they get a little feisty with, "This is the THIRD time I've faxed this card to you!" or "For the record, I'm very distraught that you would make my account dormant without notification." From a business standpoint, I disregard them all because I'm not the least bit interested in the history of the sig card, just the sig card itself.

But this one was so funny I snagged it and brought it home for my blog--highly unconventional, to be sure. It was destined for the recycle bin anyway, and there's nothing classified in it that I'll pass on. Isn't it funny when people get all chatty and personal in a business setting?

"Hi Bess,

Thank you for your assistance.
Please let me know if there is any question and how long it will take this application to be in effect. I can be reached directly at [phone #].

How is Toronto? I was amazed seeing the Markham address--I thought it was in New Jersey. Well, TD is now huge--all over North America. I like it.

Thank you.

Regards,
Ahmed _____"

Yes, Bess, how IS Toronto?

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

In the words of others...

From my poetry collection:

Faith


This much I know:
God does not wrong us here,
Though oft His judgments seem severe
And reason falters 'neath the blow,
Some day we'll learn 'twas better so.

My puny reason cries
Against the bitter and the cruel blows,
Measuring the large world by the inch it knows,
Seeing all joy and pain through selfish eyes,
Not knowing hurt and suffering may be wise.

But I have come to see,
So vast God's love, so infinite His plan
That it is well it was not left to man
To alter or to say what is to be,
When reason failed, faith also then would flee.

God knoweth best!
Through the black night and agony of grief
Faith whispers low: "Hold fast to your belief!
In time His purpose He shall manifest,
Then shall you learn how greatly you were blest."

- Edgar Guest

The Light of Faith

When the dark days come and the clouds grow gray
All men must brave them as best they may,
With never too much repining;
And bravest is he, when the shadows fall,
Who sees in the gloom of his darkened hall
The light of his faith still shining.

In those lonely days when his heart shall ache
And it seems that soon shall his courage break,
There is only one place to borrow;
One place to go for the strength he needs,
He must bind with faith every wound that bleeds,
And cling to his faith through sorrow.

For truly forlorn is the man who weeps
When his dead lies buried in floral heaps
And friends his path are lining;
And a pitiful creature he's doomed to be
If he cannot look through the gloom and see
The light of his faith still shining.

-Edgar Guest

Nearer Home

One sweetly solemn thought
Comes to me o'er and o'er, --
I am nearer home today
That I ever have been before; --

Nearer my Father's house
Where the many mansions be;
Nearer the great white throne,
Nearer the jasper sea; --

Nearer the bound of life
Where we lay our burdens down;
Nearer leaving the cross,
Nearer gaining the crown.

-Phoebe Cary

Lean Hard

Child of My love, lean hard,
And let Me feel the pressure of thy care;
I know thy burden, child, I shaped it;
Poised it in Mine own hand; made no proportion
In its weight to thine unaided strength,
For even as I laid it on, I said,
"I shall be near, and while she leans on Me,
This burden shall be Mine, not hers:
So shall I keep My child within the circling arms
Of my own love." Here lay it down, nor fear
To impose it on a shoulder which upholds
The government of worlds. Yet closer come;
Thou art not near enough. I would embrace thy care;
So I might feel My child reposing on My breast,
Thou lovest Me? I knew it. Doubt not then:
But loving Me, lean hard.

-Paul Pastnor

O Love That Wilt Not Let Me Go (verse 3)

O Joy that seekest me thru pain,
I cannot close my heart to Thee;
I trace the rainbow through the rain,
And feel the promise is not vain
That morn shall tearless be.

-George Matheson

Our Hope

A shout!
A trumpet note,
A Glorious Presence in the azure sky!
A gasp,
A thrill of joy,
And we are with Him in the twinkling of an eye!

A glance,
An upward look,
Caught up to be with Christ forevermore!
The dead alive!
The living glorified!
Fulfilled are all His promises that came before!

His face!
His joy supreme!
Our souls find rapture only at His feet!
Blameless!
Without spot!
We enter into Heaven's joy complete!

Strike harps,
Oh, sound His praise...
We know Him as we never knew before!
God's love!
God's matchless grace!
'Twill take eternity to tell while we adore!

-Anne Catherine White
(I DARE you to find a poem with a higher exclamation points per word ratio!)

And finally, once more...

Thine Eyes Shall See

Thine eyes shall see! yes thine, who blind erewhile,
Now trembling towards the new-found light dost flee;
Leave doubting, and look up with trustful smile
Thine eyes shall see.

Thine eyes shall see! Not in some dream Elysian,
Not in thy fancy, glowing though it be,
Not e'en in faith, but in unveiled vision,
Thine eyes shall see.

Thine eyes shall see! Not on thyself depend,
God's promises, the faithful, firm, and free.
Ere they shall fail, earth, heaven itself, shall end;
Thine eyes shall see.

Thine eyes shall see! Not in a swift glance cast
Gleaning one ray to brighten memory,
But while a glad eternity shall last
Thine eyes shall see.

Thine eyes shall see the King! The very same
Whose love shone forth upon the curseful tree,
Who bore thy guilt, who calleth thee by name,
Thine eyes shall see.

Thine eyes shall see the King! The Mighty One,
The Many-crowned, the Light-enrobed; and He
Shall bid thee share the kingdom He hath won:
Thine eyes shall see.

And in His beauty! Stay thee, mortal song!
The Altogether Lovely One must be
Unspeakable in glory; -- yet ere long
Thine eyes shall see.

Yes! though the land be very far away,
A step, a moment, ends the way for thee;
Then changing grief for gladness, night for day
Thine eyes shall see.

-Frances Ridley Havergal